OLD WORLD WARRIORS 3

Saito Musashibo Benkei (1155 – 1189)

Despite what you may have learned, Benkei really existed, but his popularity in Japanese folklore has confused the reality of the man with myth. What we do know is that Benkei was a warrior monk and that he was a mountain of a man at six and a half feet tall.

Also, he wasn't easy on the eyes.

The most popular story of Benkei’s life took place in his adulthood. After being kicked out of his monastery he placed himself at a bridge in Kyoto and built a Buddhist shrine there. Benkei then spent his days disarming every swordsman that passed through with his naginata and collected their swords. His one-thousandth challenger was Minamoto no Yoshitsune, son of a warlord, who defeated him. Benkei decided then to become a retainer for Yoshitsune and fought alongside him during his greatest military triumphs.

However, Yoshitsune’s brother would later turn against him and seized power. The ensuing conflict ended with Yoshitsune’s seppuku. Trapped in his castle, Yoshitsune moved to the inner keep to commit the ritual suicide. Meanwhile, Benkei swore to protect his master and made his final stand at the castle’s bridge. The encircled army was hesitant to attack Benkei on his home turf, and those that did try to charge him were put down very quickly. Running out of time, options, and guys dumb enough to charge Benkei, they opted to gun him down with arrows. However, the monster man didn’t seem fazed by the volley at all. The stand-off continued for some time before someone, suspicious of the way the arrow-riddled man wasn’t moving, approached the draw bridge and found out that he died standing up. This would later become known as The Standing Death of Benkei, a final testament to his strength and courage.

Needless to say, the dude could take a hit.

2.

Hongi Hika (1772 – 1828)

Hongi Hika, the eventual war chief of the Ngapuhi tribe of New Zealand, was no stranger to brutality. On the battlefield he crushed the heads of his opponents with a club carved out of jade and made it a regular habit to behead his fallen foes, place the heads on posts, insult said heads and then eat flesh from the corpse to gain its strength. It should be noted that brutality and pants-on-head insanity sometimes go hand in hand.

Who would have guessed this was the face of crazy?

Before Hika could become chief, the then leader of the Ngapuhi had begun trading with Europeans and discovered the wonders of the musket. Convinced that bullets beat clubs, Hika took these weapons to the battlefield. The first attempt didn’t go so well: After firing the initial volley the reload time of the muskets lead to many of Hika’s men getting smashed to death. Those who did survive did so by hiding out in a swamp.

Shortly after this loss Hika became the war chief and wanted to go all in on this musket thing. He found that Europeans, in all their great business deals, would trade for the decapitated and preserved heads of those he killed. The guns would then be used to kill people, those people lost their heads, the heads turned into guns and capitalism ran its course.

Now totally crushing his enemies without question, Hika got in with Europe by protecting the missionaries who traveled to New Zealand to convert tribes. He was so well loved by the missionaries that King George IV gave him a whole ton of swag… which Hika traded for more guns and ammo.

For a long time Hika and the Ngapuhi were the top dogs of New Zealand. However, his death finally came when the other tribes of the island caught on to the musket craze and put a bullet through his lung.

3.

Frederick Barbarossa (1122 – 1190)

Some people fight because they have to. Others fight because they want to. Frederick falls into both categories depending on the day of the week.

Barbarossa first earned his name in history at the age of twenty-five when he fought in the Second Crusade alongside the king of Germany. Wielding a massive sword, Barbarossa must have impressed the king something fierce: Despite the Second Crusade not going as planned for Christianity, King Conrad still passed the crown to Barbarossa while completely disregarding his own son.

Wanting to restore the Holy Roman Empire, Barbarossa began carving up central Europe and expanding his control and launching his first campaign against Italy. Meeting resistance almost from the get-go, Barbarossa and his men decided to simply murder everyone in their way and burn what couldn’t be murdered. As they approached Rome, Pope Adrian IV spared his life and that of his people by crowning Barbarossa the Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire. This didn’t go over well with the Romans, leading to a revolt. Not one for rebellion, Emperor Barbarossa put down the unrest by killing one-thousand Romans. Take note, because murdering one thousand people is one of Barbarossa’s motifs.

In a moment of deep contemplation, Barbarossa wonders how to best murder an entire city of people.

Little did Barbarossa know that is was actually a power play on Pope Adrian’s part, who would later claim ownership of Barbarossa and his empire. A valid claim or not, Adrian didn’t count on Barbarossa tearing through Italy again, absolutely wasting the Roman army and burning more cities to the ground. Adrian died before the campaign reached Rome, so Barbarossa decided to head back home. However, the next people, Alexander III, tried the exact same thing, thinking that he could get away with it. He couldn’t. Barbarossa marched on Rome again, making an encore performance of murdering and burning things, and chased the pope out of Rome.

As he aged Barbarossa kept his temper and fondness for violence. This would prove to be his undoing: While attempting to cross a river and join the Third Crusade, his horse was swept up from underneath him by the current and he finally met his end.

4.

Khawla bint Al-Azwar (Unknown, Between 500 and 600 AD)

As the daughter of her tribe’s (the Bani Assad) chief, Khawla spent much of her youth learning the way of the sword from her brother, Derar. Derar was a well-known warrior poet and Khawla tried her best to emulate. When it came time for Derar to join the conquering armies of Islam, Khawla was right behind him and served as a nurse on the battlefield, patching up soldiers who had the misfortune of not being her totally awesome brother.

During a battle against the Byzantine Empire somewhere near Jerusalem, Khawla stayed back administering first aid while her brother went about with the usual warrior poet thing. But as she was busy trying to keep people from dying, he was captured. Having seen this, Khawla ran into the supply tent in the same way that Clark Kent runs into a phone booth and came out in what amounts to a masked hero: She sported a suit of armor, a black robe, a green sash, a hood that concealed everything but her eyes, a spear and a scimitar.

Charging at the speed of kill.

She charged into the battle on horseback, and while she wasn’t entirely responsible for the victory that took place, she did have such an impact that she’s one of the few specifics historians choose to remember about it. One account of her assault describes her as an arrow cutting through the Byzantine ranks. Covered in blood and killing everyone who was foolish enough to stand their ground, Khawla’s display was so inspiring that the army’s general followed her with an all-out attack, forcing the enemy to retreat.

At the end of the attack Khawla revealed her identity and was awarded place in the army’s ranks. Thanks to her brother’s teachings she was able to lead a long and successful military career.